Wednesday, August 26, 2015

FunnyBiz.today's Success Quote 

Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. 
               
                                                                             -----Henry Ford





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Tuesday, August 25, 2015

AERIAL PHOTOGRAPHY

FunnyBiz Short Joke 

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? 

A: Frostbite. 

FunnyBiz Today's Joke 

Aerial Photography 

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. 

Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. 

"It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor. 

As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. 

He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!" 

The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air. 

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes." 

"Why?" asked the pilot. 

"Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation. 

After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?" 

Get in Now on the $10 a month Home Biz Sweeping Across America Around the World that has People Laughing All the Way to the Bank! http://www.funnybiz.today/site/waikikinetwork

SNOWMAN AND THE VAMPIRE

FunnyBiz Short Joke 

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? 

A: Frostbite. 




Get in Now on the $10 a month Home Biz Sweeping Across America Around the World that has People Laughing All the Way to the Bank! http://www.funnybiz.today/site/waikikinetwork

Thursday, August 7, 2014

PREPARING FOR A POWER OUTAGE


Here are some tips in the event there is a power outage.




 Recommend having cash on hand if you want to go to the few establishments that will be open.


 Fill up your vehicle with fuel prior.


 Fill up your propane tank if you plan on grilling! 


Charge your cell phones and batteries.


 Remember automatic garage door openers won’t work while the electricity is out. 


 Don't forget to take your house key with you if you leave!


Reset Your Water Heater: After the power outage you will need to reset the timer on your water heater so that your water will heated by solar power (instead of electricity) during the day. This will also ensure that you and your family have enough hot water when you need it. Please click the link below to view the video with easy step-by-step instructions: http://vimeo.com/29448909 


 If you have any medical concerns because of this upcoming outage, please contact your doctor for guidance on whether or not you should plan to go to a medical treatment facility or somewhere else with air conditioning (e.g. the Mall, etc.) for the duration of this outage.


 Prior to the power outage, disconnect power sources from computers, printers (standalone and network), copiers, multi-function devices, fax machines and other peripherals such as external hard drives and DVD/CD drives. Disconnect power source from phones; phones will continue to work with dial tone and voicemail, but some features such as linking, redial and speed dial will not be available.


 Prior to the power outage, properly disconnect sensitive appliances, such as, televisions, microwaves, advanced-technology washers and dryers, electronic game consoles, fans, lamps, etc., to avoid potential power-surge damage when electricity is restored. 


 Do not attempt to place personal generators on the grid!


Call 9-11 for all emergencies.



Confirm electrical power restoration. Once power restoration 
is confirmed, your personal electrical equipment may then be reconnected.


 Food Safety Message


 If the power is out for less than four hours, the food in your refrigerator and freezer is safe to consume. While the power is out, keep the refrigerator and freezer doors closed as much as possible to keep food cold for longer. Or, place food that may spoil in a cooler with ice. Do not open freezer during this period.


 If the power is out for longer than four hours, follow the guidelines below: 


A freezer that is half full will hold food safely for up to 24 hours. A full freezer will hold food safely for 48 hours. Do not open the freezer door if you can avoid it. 


For the refrigerator: Pack milk, other dairy products, meat, fish, eggs, gravy, and spoilable leftovers into a cooler surrounded by ice. Inexpensive styrofoam coolers are fine for this purpose. 


 Use a food thermometer to check the temperature of your food before you cook or eat it. Throw away any food with a temperature of more than 40 degrees Fahrenheit.


Information provided by: 
MCB Hawaii Family PREPAREDNESS PLAN for a Power Outage
www.facebook.MarineCorpsBaseHawaii

Friday, February 8, 2013

Sisters of St. Francis

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye...



It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought....

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS


He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks,


'What may we do for you ! my son? '

He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business....'

'Very well my son. Please follow me.' He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, 'Please knock on this door.'

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs, 'Please place £100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.'


He puts £100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER

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